


Ice Ice Baby(or Freezing to Death with Spiderman and Deadpool is NOT How Tony Wants To Die)

by Silveralm



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 06:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13653759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silveralm/pseuds/Silveralm
Summary: The trio get locked in a freezer. There's only one way for this to end.





	Ice Ice Baby(or Freezing to Death with Spiderman and Deadpool is NOT How Tony Wants To Die)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PlunnyBreeder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlunnyBreeder/gifts).



“ - I’m not saying that ice cream _isn’t_ the cold version of a blanket, I just think that we should consider their differences,” Spiderman proclaimed, leaning on the freezer door to open it. He held it open for Deadpool, who stepped inside happily. 

“Okay, but consider this; pillows are just really bad teddy bears,” Deadpool added. Spiderman followed him, fingers holding the door open as he searched for something to prop it open with. He’d had more than enough bad experiences being locked in this freezer in the past. 

“Hey, have you seen the door jam?” Spiderman questioned. Deadpool tensed. 

“HOLY FUCK!” Deadpool screamed, stumbling back into Spiderman who shoved back on instinct, sending them both tumbling to the ground. 

“NO!” a suddenly appearing Tony screeched, diving for the door. He tripped over the mess that was Deadpool and Spiderman, slamming into it. “ _NOOOOO!_ ” he howled. 

“Ow,” Spiderman said, having been kicked in the side in Tony’s rush to get the door. Then he looked up at the door, which was clearly shut. “Fuck.”

Tony dropped to his knees, clutching his face. “No.” he whispered.

Deadpool squinted up at Tony, then let out a gasp. “Oh! It was you, Tony. I thought one of your human experiments had escaped to the freezer.”

“I don’t have any human experiments,” Tony muttered half-heartedly. Sighing, he sat back onto the floor. 

“Ow!” Spiderman repeated, wriggling his squashed foot out from under Stark. The man seemed unaffected. 

“I’m stuck. Still. WIth you two, of course,” Tony lamented, dragging a tired hand across his face. “I’m going to freeze to death with _idiots_.”

“Hey!” Deadpool objected, clearly offended. He turned to Spiderman, who just shrugged. 

“We _were_ trying to make a marshmallow bed earlier,” Spiderman explained. 

“That was genius. Who doesn’t want a bed you can eat?!” Deadpool countered, practically salivating through his mask. 

“Pretty much everyone,” Tony pointed out. “What do you do when you eat all of them?”

“You just add more, silly!” Deadpool answered easily. 

“What about when they go off? Do you really want a bed made out of expired marshmallows?” Tony inquired. 

“Deadpool ate the entire bed in one hour. We used forty packets of marshmallows,” Spiderman informed.

A concerned expression passed over Tony’s face. “If you didn’t have super healing, I’d be worried.”

Deadpool let out a loud burp then giggled. “My breath still tastes like marshmallows.”

“I’m never letting you guys borrow my credit card again,” Tony decided. 

“You said that last time,” Spiderman commented. 

“Last time you spent _one thousand dollars_ on hotdogs!” Tony cried, waving his hand helplessly. “How do you even spend that much on _hotdogs?_ ”

A happy sigh escaped Deadpool’s lips. “Those tasted so good. I think I ate at least fifty.”

“Fifty?!” Tony hissed. 

“Hey, Spidey ate twice as much as me,” Deadpool added, huffing like Tony had greatly offended him. Tony’s accusing gaze turned to the Spider, who at least had the courtesy to look guilty. 

“... I really like hotdogs?” Spiderman offered weakly. Tony shook his head in disbelief. 

“I’m going to lie down now. The only reason I’m not sitting as far away from you as possible is that I'm fucking freezing,” Tony told them, shifting to put himself in between the red pair. When Deadpool took in a breath to speak, Tony slammed a hand over his mouth and asserted, ‘ _no fucking talking_ ’. 

After a few minutes of lots of wriggling on Deadpool’s part and an equal amount of twitching from Spiderman, they seemed to settle down. Tony’s mind drifted off to some place where his current projects existed, churning somewhere in the back of his brain. 

The next thing he was aware of was the very loud ‘snap!’ of a phone camera. 

“Who the fuck leaves their camera sound on,” Tony muttered angrily to himself, then realised his eyes were closed. Abruptly, he opened them to glare at the person in question. 

Happy loomed over him, phone steadied in his hand as another loud ‘snap!’ echoed through the room. 

Tony tried to reach up and snatch the device off him, but his arms were pinned underneath the heavy limbs of two others. Deadpool to his left, face pressed into Tony’s stomach with an arm wrapped around his torso and legs tangled with his. Spiderman to his right, tucked under Tony’s arm. 

“I’m going to murder all of you,” Tony declared with the ferocity of an angry kitten. “Especially you, Happy. And I’ll enjoy it.”

Spiderman stirred, head lifting off Tony’s shoulder. “Oh. Happy. Does this mean we can get the ice cream now? Deadpool and I wanted to make an igloo.”

“ _No_ ,” Tony growled. 

“Thanks,” Spiderman said, in a way that made Tony think he hadn’t heard anything at all. 

“... murder all of you,” Tony murmured. Spiderman stretched out and settled back onto Tony, unaffected. 

“Love you too,” Spiderman replied, eyes fluttering shut. 

Tony sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> Tony Stark needs cuddles, okay? I don't even plan it. It just happens, he just HAS to be hugged. 
> 
> (I hope you guys liked it!) :D
> 
> <3
> 
> Side note to PlunnyBreeder: Have another gift. For reasons. We're obviously having a niceness war here, so here's me being _extra_ nice to you. :D


End file.
